Michael Worth

Two-Story Outhouse

2008-10-20T16:12:12-07:00

Having just completed my early voting, I'm feeling a lot like the downstairs resident... I also suffer from Electile Dysfunction, but that's another post entirely......

Wild West Rules

2008-10-04T15:15:16-07:00

Rules of Wyoming , Montana , Utah , Idaho , and the rest of the 'Wild West' are as follows: 1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot. 2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked. 3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. So, drive it or get out of the way. 4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't...

Idaho Farm Kid

2008-09-30T10:13:07-07:00

Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are too. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer that the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire...

Drug Tests

2008-08-20T12:31:08-07:00

Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random drug test with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a drug test. Shouldn't one have to pass a drug test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Understand,...

Bullshit and Brilliance

2008-08-18T16:39:41-07:00

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old...

Prepare now for the Beijing Olympics

2008-07-30T12:26:11-07:00

Learn Chinese in 5 minutes. (read them aloud) English Chinese That's not right! Sum Ting Wong Are you harboring a fugitive? Hu Yu Hai Ding See me ASAP Kum Hia Nao Stupid Man Yu So Dum Small Horse Tai Ni Po Ni Did you go to the beach? Wai Yu So Tan I bumped into a coffee table! Ai Bang Mai Ni I think you need a face lift! Chin Tu Fat It's very dark in here! Wai So Dim I thought you were on a diet! Wai Yu Mun Ching This is a tow away zone! No Pah King Our meeting is next week! Wai Yu Kum Nao Staying out of sight Lei...

Lower Gas Prices - Today!

2008-06-02T11:49:39-07:00

I just read a couple of articles on CNN.com about the high price of gas, and what, if anything, we can do about it. You won't learn anything there that's going to save you money at the pump. There's only one way to lower gas prices. And there's only one person that you can anything about it. It's you. You have to stop using it. That's all there is to it. The government can't do anything about gas prices - and they're proving it. The only way to reduce gas prices is to reduce demand. And when you stop using...

New Government Seal

2008-05-30T16:02:13-07:00

Official Announcement The United States Government announced today that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a Condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A Condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed! Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that!...

Lower Gas Prices

2008-05-28T15:37:39-07:00

One solution to the high price of gas would be to deport 11 million illegal immigrants! That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The demand for gas would be reduced, so the price of gas would also be reduced. Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the Border. When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq. Tell him if he wants to come to America then he must serve a tour in the military . Give him a soldier's pay while he's...

Define Veteran

2008-05-27T21:49:40-07:00

A Veteran - whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a check made payable to "The United States of America", for an amount of "up to and including my life." - Author Unknown...

All we can do is remember

2008-05-23T19:25:01-07:00

'It is, in a way, an odd thing to honor those who died in defense of our country, in defense of us, in wars afar away. The imagination plays a trick. We see these soldiers in our mind as old and wise. We see them as something like the Founding Fathers, grave and gray-haired. But most of them were boys when they died, and they gave up two lives, the one they were living and the one they would have lived. When they died, they gave up their chance to be husbands and fathers and grandfathers and veterans. They gave...

Ron Paul: A New Hope

2008-05-16T18:51:27-07:00

The Media Killed Ron Paul

2008-05-15T23:30:13-07:00

And here's the proof... Who will YOU vote for in November? Will you do the media's bidding and vote for the person they programmed you to vote for? Or will you take a minute to do your own homework, educate yourself, and make the an informed decision about the one man (or women) that will have significant influence over nearly every aspect of your life for the next 4-8 years? I'll be voting for Ron Paul, even if I have to write his name in, because choosing the lesser of two evils is completely unacceptable to me. And it's starting...

Firehose Rodeo

2008-05-09T11:08:22-07:00

LOL! Awesome. Why didn't I think of that? Probably because I worked with a bunch of uptight a-holes....

Water Power

2008-05-08T18:39:36-07:00

Can we REALLY power our cars with ordinary tap water? I don't know, but I intend to find out. Stay tuned for updates!...